Creating Space For God, Part 2

Forgiveness is to have hope for the oppressors, to believe in their humanity hidden under all their brokenness.
-Jean Vanier

I have been struggling lately with anger and inner tribulation as I feel the brokenness in this world. On Friday I was faced with a battle between grace and judgment. A fellow, florid in a cocaine high, came to the hospital with part of his leg in a bucket. He was riding his motorcycle and involved in a motor vehicle accident of sorts. Because of the urgency of the situation, he bumped off several other cases off the operating slate, poor old ladies waiting to have their broken wrists fixed for days - in pain, children with accidental falls who need some screws in their bones to help their limbs grow nicely. In my mind, I was thinking (and sinning) - this good for nothing man, still high on whatever drugs, a burden on our taxing society - why should we fix him first and leave several innocent, faithful contributors for the bettering of our society in pain. He could have killed my friends the night before on his motor bike. I was judging.

Despite my understanding of grace, I was quite angry inside for awhile before I came to the realization - I'm that biker dude - in God's eyes, I am that ugly, undeserving, good for nothing sinner. But God forgave me, and gave me a chance, why can I not display grace and love for this person laying before me?

Sometimes I am quite burdened by the brokenness in my life and in lives around me. How can we be truly thankful for it, how do we come to terms with the fact that this is God's providence. I feel there is a disconnect between the knowledge of that and the living of that.

Providence is
the almighty and ever present power of God
by which he upholds, as with his hand,
heaven and earth and all creatures,
and so rules them that
leaf and blade,
rain and drought,
fruitful and lean years,
food and drink,
health and sickness,
prosperity and poverty --
all things, in fact, come to us
not by chance
but from his fatherly hand.

- Heidelberg Catechism

O Lord, teach me how to be more like you.